Lofty Visions

  

Nature is wonderful: millions of years ago she didn't know we were going to wear glasses, yet look at the way she placed our ears.

 

Most people look better without their glasses, and some look better without yours.

If your eyes trouble you and you see spots in front of them, get glasses; you'll see the spots much better.

 

The trouble with Hollywood is that it looks at the world through gross-colored glasses.

 

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

 
I prefer to forget both pairs of glasses and pass my declining years saluting strange women and grandfather clocks.

 

  Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

 

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.